Anger as a tool to Increase our Capacity

Why do we have anger?

Because something crosses a boundary of ours and we do not believe we can fix it.

I was angry about everything.

Poverty. Starvation. War. My parents not understanding. The religion of my youth. The government. Big banks. Money. Politics…


Because I saw these as violations of my boundaries–what is allowed in my space and world. And because I felt powerless to stop or change most of them.

And then a reframe happened. In the shower. As most good reframes do.

The thing that I perceive as a boundary violation is an invitation for me to expand my perceived ability to act.

It wouldn’t bother me if I couldn’t fix it. This might seem esoteric.

At least, I have some power over it because it is in my reality.

It’s in my reality at the very least because I pay attention to it. I give it my focus. That is an act of power-taking. Maybe not the power I want, once considered consciously, but nonetheless.

Are we responsible for our reality?

The exact configuration of our reality is what it is because of thousands of things we do and don’t do. So, yes. Disregarding all mysticism, we have configured and created our reality. By changing any one thing, that reality will change. Starting with focus and attention.

In other words, all anger, I believe, is evidence of believing illusion. (Or as Marshall Rosenberg says, thinking that is disconnected from our needs.)


About Ryan Orrock

Ryan works with power and sexuality to help people get what they want.

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